Till' Death do they part
by allmondblossoms316
Summary: What does Jessica think when she stumbles upon a wedding invitation during the course of a "normal" day? What is Mike thinking during the actual wedding when Jessica is his date? Hilarity ensues as someone stalks the Cullen home, looking for revenge.
1. Outfits and Invitations

Summary: What does Jessica think when she stumbles upon a wedding invitation during the course if a "normal" day? What is Mike thinking during the wedding, when Jessica is his date? Hilarity ensues when someone decides to stalk the Cullen house, looking for revenge. R & R

Chapter one: Outfits and invitations

A.N. Whenever there is a spelling mistake in this chapter, it is intentional. Like with her shoes, it's that way on purpose.

JPOV

I skipped out of my parent's old, delopadated house in my sad hometown of Forks.

Awww man. Those prep classes were really helping surpass my already superior intelligence. I guess it was worth losing the nose job.

I mean, Gawd! I didn't have the perfect nose, but neither did Bella, and Edward still likes her doesn't he? My guess was that he liked his girls smart and sweet.

Lauren got a nose job, but her bleached hair obviously keeps the facts out of her brain. Edward has always hated her, she's a bitch and a ditz, plus that "visionary" haircut makes her look like a clown.

I snickered. 'Bitch Ditz.' I am too funny.

"Yaaahh!" I yelped, suddenly finding myself lying facedown on my parent's driveway. How embarassing! I quickly hopped up and smoothed out my simple, yet fashionable hot pants and punny tee, looking around to make sure no one saw that.

It seems as if no one did, so I checked my clothes one more time, just to make sure nothing was wrong. Money was tight, seeing as where I had applied to college, and I couldn't afford any new clothing or accessories.

My 'BCBG' knockoffs looked so real that even the Great Alice Cullen wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Unless she saw the tag, conviently reading 'BCB_D_.'

My shirt today was hilarious. It was a light grey, short sleeve t-shirt that said "Dracula Sucks." It looked like it was written in blood, and there was a picture of the actor below it, along with a few strategic rips. Punny, indeed.

I had on some blood red high heels to match the shirt that I bought from a street vendor in Port Angeles. The best part-THEY WERE REAL MARC JAKKOBS! I could not believe the deal I got. The vendor only charged me $125 dollars, while retail was at least three hundred.

All in all, the perfect look for me to go and talk with Edward. Sexy, yet smart and sweet. Perfect.

You see, a few months back, while we were still in high school, I heard from Lauren who heard from Tyler who heard from Mike who heard from Ben who heard from Angela who had heard from Bella herself, that she and Edward would both be, along with the rest of his family, attending Southeast Alaska University in the Fall.

The first thought on everyone's mind, naturally, was why? Bella hated the cold, and Alaska was twice as cold as Forks. Then, I realized what this would mean for me. I had applied to a party school in Florida, hence the new warmer wardrobe, but that would mean I would be all the way across the country from my beloved Edward. If that be the case, before I could do anything to make him finally acknowledge our mutual love, the little skank would have just sunk her claws in deeper.

That's right. You heard me. The bitch would have tricked him into marriage!

She would probably make up some ridiculous story about an unexpected pregnancy, and my sexy little Edward would feel so horrible, he would propose. I mean, that's what I would do if I was her, and we all know about the little weekend trips that they had. I'm not stupid. She would, coincedentally, "lose the baby." His Father is a Doctor, it shouldn't be that hard to convince them.

So I went and . . . _Payed a visit_ to my old friend Mike.

Once I had convinced him, more or less, he agreed to help me. It seems as if my ex was equally disheartened by the news. It was obvious to anyone that he was completely obsessed.

Well, except to himself.

He had been accepted into the University of Seattle, but once he heard my plan, his changed dramatically.

We both applied to the University of Alaska, and we both got in.

The plan was to try and break the happy couple up as much as possible in Forks, then crush them in college.

And it would work. Mike would finally get Bella and my prescious Edward would at last be free of her. All would be happy, starting with my visit to Edward today.

Seduction was always one of my stronger points, not to _braaaggg_ or anything.

Oh who I am I kidding! No one could resist my powers. Bella and Edward would never know what hit them.

Finally remembering why I even wasted the time to walk outside in the first place, I ended my ginormous rant, and went to grab the mail.

There wasn't that much. Looking through the stack quickly appeared to show housing bills, credit card bills, and student food plan bills. I smirked.

_Allllllllllll _me.

At the bottom of the stack was an envelope that was certainly not a bill. It was thick and stiff and expensive looking, adressed to 'Miss Jessica Stanely and Family.'

I quickly ran the way up the driveway and threw all the bills on our orange kitchen counter. Taking the thick one, I ran to my room and flung it on my bed, preparing to open it.

It was firstly addressed to me, right?

Following it's movements, I bounced onto the fluffy pink canopy bed I've had since I was nine. I always wanted to be a princess. Hmmmm. . . King Edward and his beautiful Queen Jessica with their adorable son, Prince Jasper Xavier and lovely Princess Esmerelda Daniellienda. I have such a way with names.

I wanted to be mindful of the paper, seeing as how it felt more expensive than my shoes, which was saying a lot.

But hell, when am I ever mindful of anything?

I ripped that sucker open faster than the time I had gone with Mike to Lookout Point and we had, ahem, "parked."

It read as so,

'You have been cordigially invited to the union of marriage of the children of:

Carlisle and Esme Cullen  
And  
Charles Swan and Renee Dywer

On the date of August the  
Thirteenth, two thousand and six  
At the Cullen Estate

May God bless Edward and Isabella's souls for all of eternity'

Oh, that was nice. A wedding. I haven't been to a wedding sin--

Wait. Wait one second and Back. It. Up.

WHO'S WEDDING?!

I quickly picked the invitation back up off where it had settled on the floor and read it again.

Yes, yes, Cullen, Swan, August. There. There it was. '--Edward and Isabella's souls for all of eternity.'

"WHAT!" I shrieked.

When did this happen?! That us supposed to be ME on that invitation! My name! Soon-to-be-Mrs. _JESSICA_ Cullen.

Not Isabella. Sneer.

My plan. My future. My Edward. It was all supposed to be mine! And today was the day I was going to get it allllll! Not lose it!

What. The. Fuck.

Today was not going good for me. First, I fall flat on my face, almost ruining my new outfit, put together especially Edward.

Now! They're getting married. Sneer.

I have to stop this!

I have to.

A.N. Hope you liked first chapter. I am very interested in this story, so expect frequent updates. Next chapter-still Jessica, bit she confronts B/E and Mike. Ooooh. Stay tuned for the drama.


	2. Confrontations

Chapter two: Confrontations

JPOV

I quickly ran downstairs and grabbed the keys to my new used car. It was an old cab from New York City!! I loved it the minute I saw it. Sure, it wasn't my beloved's Volvo, but when we head on our honeymoon, who wouldn't want to stay in N.Y. in a taxi?! It's just too perfect!

Mindful of the present, I remembered that my future was extremely clouded right now, visions of sluts dancing in my head. If I didn't stop this wedding, today, now, than I would never get my glorious future.

But on the bright side, the _"Crush the crushes" _plan would not be needed, and we could arrive on campus with everyone knowing that we were eternal.

Every last one. Jealous of ME! Jessica Imogena Stanley-Cullen.

_~~Later_~~

Where was their house again?

I still had the invitation from the graduation party that the sprite threw at the end of the year. That was a hell of a bash. Coupled with the fact that it was the first party in Forks since Yorkie's grandma turned fifty, and that everyone was just dying to see the inside of the mysterious Cullen Mansion, everyone in school was there. Even the freshman.

It ruined the gossip though. Before the party, there were tons of rumors about the elusive Cullens. We had gone to the beach one day, and some kid had actually told us they were vampires that drunk from animals! How stupid is that? Even if vampires did exist, they would drink human blood, not animals. Can you say, duh!! Then a younger kid slapped him upside the head and told us that the Cullens were wonderful people, no matter their background. Cryptic. Stupid. Annoying.

But juicy as crap.

Nobody actually beloved them, though. I mean, a vampire falling in love with a human? It sounds like a cheesy romance novel. It would never sell.

I finally found their obnoxiously long driveway and turned in. Reaching the house in a matter of minutes, I honked my horn to let them know I was here.

I looked around, but the only car I saw was a huge SUV. But there were no cars at the party. Maybe they have an adjoining garage?

I shrugged to myself, walked up the white steps, and knocked on the door.

I heard a set of steps coming down towards the door, from what I assumed was the staircase. I braced myself for the onslaught of my lover-to-be's amazing looks and smell.

The door opened.

But it was not Edward.

It was the she-devil herself.

Isabella Swan.

And she was wearing cream-colored satin boyshorts, a black tank top, and matching silk robe that only went down to mid-thigh.

Her hair looked like a haystack, but unlike me, her hair looked good that way. Her cheeks were flushed and lipgloss smudged, along with her mascara.

But she looked really pretty like this, like she was meant to lay in bed in her pajamas all day with Edward, even if she had on next to nothing in the makeup department. But come to think of it, the only time anyone ever saw her with makeup was on special occasions, like Prom. Even then it was made to look natural, like she woke up pretty.

"Jessica." Her tone wasn't suprised like I thought it would be, but more resigned. Like she had already knew I was coming, and was just ready to get my visit over with, since she already knew what I was here for.

"Bella!" I faked an excited squeal and quickly threw my arms around her, subtly closing the door behind me. I didn't miss that she did not hug back.

"Jess, what are you doing. I don't remember inviting you in." She pulled back to look at me, hostility coloring her voice. That's weird. I do not remember her ever being hostile with me. Maybe she did know why I was here.

I placed a sad frown on my face, hoping to have her believe me. "I need to speak with Edward."

"Alright. Come with me." She began walking up the stairs without an answer. That was easy.

Two flights later, I was panting like a dog and Klutzilla hadn't stumbled or even broke a sweat. That little . . . She tricked everyone at school with that dumb-ass clumsy act.

As if knowing what I was thinking, she turned and began walking backwards, talking to me. "Notice the balance?" She giggled. "Alice has trained me well for the walk down the aisle. I'm assuming that's why you're here, to talk about the wedding?"

I gaped and rasped. "How--how did you know?"

She smirked. "I know you."

I quickly shut my mouth before I could embarass myself any further.

She stopped in front of the last door on this floor.

"This is our room. Edward is in here." She opened the door but I was too preoccupied with "our room" to notice.

It wasn't until Bella called my name with a giggle in her voice that my attention turned to the couple in front of me.

Edward and Bella were laying on a huge wrought iron bed with a gold and black coverlet. The iron was shaped into roses.

The coverlet matched the walls and carpet, all different hues of gold. All the furniture was either black or wrought iron. There was an entire wall filled with CDs, the wall with the door held an expensive stereo system, the kind I was afraid to touch. The other two walls were made entirely of glass, showing a beautiful view of the surrounding forest. I loved it, but if they did anything in here, we would have to move. I looked for them.

There they were. In the middle of the bed, laying all over each other, smirking.

Edward was whispering quietly in Bella's ear, kissing down her neck when she giggled. His hands stayed firmly planted in her hair and on her waist. Not even attempting to grope her. It was sickeningly sweet and I was getting a toothache by just looking at them, but I toned it down with the eyeful I got of Edward's ah-mazing chest.

I tried to talk. "Ummm. I, like, only need to speak with Edward. No offense, or anything." I quickly added.

Edward slowly turned his head and looked at me, all the love and adoration slowly draining from his blackening eyes. "Anything you need to say to me can be said in front of Bella." He turned back to her. "Bella is going to be my wife." He said, awe and pure adoration coloring his tone once more.

Maybe he really didn't want me.

He sounded as if he was in a daze, like it was impossible that she said yes.

He was fooled in love. I would have to fix that. But another time. I couldn't do it with her here.

So I quickly came up with an excuse to why I was here. Edward smirked a knowing grin.

"I, umm, I just, like wanted to know stuff about--about the wedding." I stuttered out.

"Oh. What about exactly?" Bella asked.

"Just, ummm. . . Things. Likeeee, like how you proposed! Tell me about that."

"Doesn't the girl normally tell that story?" Her brown eyes were secretive.

"Umm. Well, yeah, but I like totally thought it would be better if I heard it from the planner himself." I countered.

"And why couldn't I be here for that? I was obviously here both other times." Bella asked.

"Wait." I was confused. "Both other times?"

She smirked again. "Edward has proposed to me twice."

Huh? Does that mean that they broke up? Got back together? He really loves her? Rejection? Omg!

"T--twic-e?"

Edward laughed an attractive chuckle. "Yes. I proposed to her after I returned from L.A." His eyes hardened slightly at the memory. Maybe there was hope. "But I had no hope that she would even consider being with me." He looked at me like he was reading my thoughts, then back to Bella.

She continued the story. "I said never really said no, just not right now. He was relentless. At school, Port Angeles, my house." She turned and glared playfully at him. "But a few weeks ago we were here and had the house to ourselves. One thing led to another and suddenly, I was engaged! But I'm happy. I love Edward more than life itself." She spoke her obsession freely, like the object of said obsession wasn't sitting right next to her frowning and concentrating deeply on something.

But when she said she loved him more than life itself, his entire face lit up to look like a kid on Christmas morning. One of the happiest times I'd ever seen him. He leaned in and kissed her neck before whispering in her ear. It looked to me like something along the lines of, 'as I love you.'

Sweet.

"Oh. Well. Wasn't that just. . ." I trailed off.

"Yeah. It was just." They both glared at me.

Edward spoke. "Is there anything else I can help you with?"

Your fiancée dead and you covered in chocolate sauce.

But of course I didn't say that.

"Oh. Umm. Ummmmmmm.--"

But before I could finish Bella was off his chest and out the door. I quickly spun and folllowed her down the three flights.

Once out of earshot, I regained my nerve. "When's it due?" I asked casually.

She muttered something that sounded like I told you so. "I'm not pregnant."  
She said indigantly.

I snorted. "Right. Sure. So how is he in bed?"

She turned around, eyes flashing. "I don't know."

Huh? "What do you mean, 'you don't know'?"

She shrugged. "Edward and I are both virgins."

"What! How?" I didn't believe her for a second, but hey. Let's give her the benefit of the doubt here.

She laughed bitterly. "I've attempted many times, but he wouldn't have sex till marriage."

Uh-huh. Yeah. Sure. . . I can't wait to tell Lauren and everybody!

She measured my shocked expression with grace. "Go ahead. Tell anyone you want. Just say goodbye now while you still have a chance."

Her statement was beyond cryptic. "Huh?"

She smirked again. "You'll see."

"Whatever." I muttered and quickly walked out the door. I heard the door slam and Bella's squeals inside. Omg!! Maybe Edward heard how the bitch treated me and I had a chance!

I walked in the house confident and ready. Inside, things went hazy and the plan was off.

But now, I walk out with the hope and determination to make Edward Cullen mine.

Mine.


	3. Angry Newtons

Chapter three: Newton

MPOV (Mike)

I blasted my radio.

Monday, Tuesday, Happy Days.

Wednesday, Happy Days.  
Thursday, Friday, Happy Days. The Weekend comes, my cycle hums,  
Ready to race to you.

These days are ours. Happy and free. (Oh Happy Days)  
These days are ours. Share them with me. (Oh Baby)

Goodbye gray skies, Hello Blue, 'cause nothing can hold me when I hold you.  
Feels so right, it can't be wrong. Rockin' and rollin' all week long.

"Micheal Chadley Newton! You turn that horrid racket down this instant!" My Grandma's shrill voice echoed up the stairs.

I hopped of my bed, effectively ending my happy dance at being accepted into Alaska University and turned the stereo off, pondering in what this development would mean for my life.

Two years ago, my life had changed forever.

Isabella Swan came to Forks.

It was love at first sight.

Well, for me a anyway.

Flashback

I had heard from Jessica who heard from Lauren who heard from Tyler who heard from Ben who heard from Angela who heard from her Dad who heard from Billy Black in La Push who heard from Chief Swan himself, that his daughter, Isabella Marie was coming from Pheonix to live with him.

I was immedietly obsessed with hearing anything I could about this new girl. I just knew we would be awesome together. We both came from lands of Sun, seeing how I moved here from Cali when I was ten. We would both be naturally tan, sporty, blonde hair, blue eyes. . . It would be a match made in heaven. The jock and his girl. Heading off to college, getting married, having the perfect family. All blonde, tan, with blue eyes. A son, Neiman Nicholai Newton and a daughter, Rosalie Zoella.

And our dog Sally, of course.

I primped and prodded and pimped until the sun came up the day she was scheduled to arrive. I dressed in this vintage white tee that mom had gotten at H & M **(A.N. I'm anti H & M, which is why I used that** **store. No offense to anyone who likes it.) **when her and Dad went to New York City, some jeans, and my Spartans jacket. Just to make sure that she knew I loved sports. I planned to escort her to class and tell her all about myself, while she would fawn over me while I drew her closer and smirked at Cull--

"Mike! Get down here!" I flinched at the sound of my Mother's voice, reminding me that the love of my twenties was waiting to meet me.

I walked downstairs. With a kiss for my Mom I was out the door, heading towards my car. The heater had been failing lately, so my ride to school was colder than my soon to end showers. But the cold helped my focus. I needed a game plan.

I finally made it to the school, which was, like most things, just off the highway. Parking my Sedan, I hopped out and crossed my arms, looking all alluring and sexy, just waiting for her to arrive and jump in my arms.

Around two dozen cars piled into the lot, including the ass' shiny Volvo. I would kill for that car, but damn. Stupid shiny Volvo owner. Most everyone was here except for the last few just now pulling in. I felt dismayed, standing there, maybe she wasn't coming?

I heard the thunderous roar of what was obviously someone's new old car. That was the only kind we had around Forks, old. An ancient monster truck drove into a space just a few feet from mine. I had never seen it before, so it was probably her car.

She could ride with me next time.

A girl stepped out, but she was not at all what I was expecting. She was petite, but not in a freakish way. Her short yet oh-so-long legs were sheathed in a pair of dark jeans paired with navy converse. Her skin was only a shade darker than the elusive Cullen's and her hair was a wave of mahogany curls. She stepped carefully out of her truck. Was she hurt? Isabella looked up curiously at the school and grimaced before ducking her head down. Her eyes were dark, contrasting with her snowy skin as she walked into the school.

She wasn't what I was expecting, she was even better.

--later--

I walked dejectedly into my first period math class. She wasn't sitting down or up talking, so she probably wasn't in this class.

This dumb teacher had put me second to the front and there were empty seats all around me. If she was here, than she would sit by me.

"Attention class! Attention!" My trig teacher Mr. Varner clapped his hands together at the front if the room. I angrily turned my head to come face to face with none other than my dream girl, Isabella Swan.

"Class, this is our new student, Isabella Swan." Varner then proceeded to make her introduce herself, and I watched amused as she blushed and stammered, then tripped on her shoes to her seat three rows behind mine. Dumb teacher. Planting my love three rows behind me.

Trig went without any developments, so I followed closely behind, just to find that her next class was with Eric, and then one after with Jess.

Ode to Jess, my ex-love. Until Isabella's arrival, we had been on and off and on more times than I cared to count. Sure, Jessica was hot. Teeny and tight with all that wild curly hair, but she was no Isabella Swan. Swan was in a class all by herself.

Besides, the quiet ones always scream the loudest.

I attempted to make my conversation with the guys at lunch sound cooler than usual, but Isabella wasn't even paying attention. People in the group would be all outgoing and try to talk to her, learn where she was from and everything, but her answers were short and to the point. She was obviously having a bad day, and until she met me, the sunshine in the dreary town, there was nothing to make it better.

I watched angrily as the perfects walked into the room. Beautie and the Beast, Peter and Tink, then the lonely little Bambi. As I glared at him while he smirked his way through the lunch line, I could faintly hear Jessica and Angela explaining to my Love who they were, and my hopes all but crashed. Isabella had already noticed the Cullen's, and _him_, but I watched on the two, noting how he didn't even realize how she was staring.

_Or didn't care, _my heart beat out to me. And for my sake, I hoped that it was the latter.

_~~later~~_

She walked into the room just before the bell rang. Mr. Banner handed her a book and directed her to the only seat in the room. Next to my arch enemy.

Edward whatever-his-friggin'-middle-name-is Cullen.

Two things seemed to happen at once. Isabella tripped on her boots and Jess laughed at her, then the fan blew her way and ruffled her hair. Glancing at _him_, I saw his jaw clench and his freaky yellow eyes actually look black. Something that I had no clue of was going on.

How anticlimatic.

I expected him to _jump her_ or something. He was looking at her like she was his prey. Like he would eat her. Like he hated her.

Kinky.

I watched him all throughout class, hoping to be discreet. In a town this small, one rumor I was gay and I'd be branded for life. **(No offense to anyone like that out there. In Midnight Sun, Edward calls Mike on his gay thoughts, so I put that in. I'm not anti-gay or anything, I actually have a few friends of that persuasion.) **

_Not that I wouldn't mind a little time behind the bleachers with him. _

WHAT?! What was that! I have to stop thinking these things.

Cullen was smirking again, and for a second a laugh escaped him before his eyes did that weird hardening over thing and the mask was back on.

More importantly, I needed a chance to talk to Isabella. So I quickly came up with the perfect excuse.  
Our obvious mutual enemy, Cullen.

The bell rang and said mutual enemy shot out of his seat faster than a Grandma on steroids.**(Inside joke.) **I put my swagga' on and walked up to Isabella, she not even noticing, frowning at her textbook.

"You're Is-isabella Swan, right?" I was slightly embarassed at how my voice stuttered. I'm not a nerd.

She looked up and smiled at me, totally not forced at all, she must like me already. "Bella." She corrected.

"Bella." I repeated it, loving how the sound just rolled off my tongue. "What class do you have next?"

She groaned. "Gym."

I brightened instantly. "Oh really! Me too! We can walk together!" This way I would get to show everyone that I claimed her, and show her how good I was at Sports.

_~~later~~_

Bella had totally sucked at Sports, leaving me to pick up the pieces, a task I was strangely happy to do. So our kids would be part clumsy. I could live.

I didn't get a chance to talk to her after Gym was over, but when I walked out I saw her get into her ancient Chevy. I waved and hoped she saw.

End Flashback

My mood now was a complete 180 from just a few weeks ago. I have had to sit through two years of their secret glances and what seemed like a hidden meaning to everything they talk about. Cullen's smirking, Bella's zombie state, touching, kissing, laughing, loving. . . Just them being together! I was beginning to get sick of it! Jess had even told me that Lauren saw him walking out of a jewerly shop in Port Angeles, tiny little bag in hand. If he proposed to her, I would not be held accountable for my actions.

But now. Oh-ha-ho, _now_ we had a plan.

"Crush the crushes" was originallly devised to separate the happy couple in High School. But alas, High School was now over and they were as strong as ever. So Jessica and I had come up with plan B.

Apply to University of Alaska Southeast, where we had heard from everyone that they were going to, break them up fresh-man year, then get married six months later.

And it would definetly work. It just had to.

"MIKE! YOU HAVE A VISITOR! I'M SENDING HER UP!" _"her"_ up? My grandma had said. A girl? I could the click of heels on our wooden stairs. Was it Bella?

"Mike! Thank _Gawd _you're here!" Jessica's whiny voice well. . . whined.

I turned to the girl that I would owe my entire life to in less than a year. She was the master-mind of this plan. The only reason I was getting a chance to get the girl.

"Jess?" I asked.

The curly-haired brunette threw herself onto my bed and I could hear the poor old hinges creak with the extra and _un-wanted _weight. "Mike? We have a problem."

She threw an unopened and very official looking envelope onto my lap. Did Jessica not get accepted? I just talked to her last night. She had said yes. This was definetly a problem. The whole plan depeneded on her presence.

"Open it already!" She urged.

I sighed and pulled a card out of the wrapping. It was expensive and thick with little green vines running across the cream-colored paper.

I opened it slowly and read even slower.

"THEY'RE GETTING _WHAT!?" _

**Sorry to end it there. I have other stories to write. But come on? Six pages. I think that it was pretty good. **

**Please please please please **_**please **_**REVIEW! **

**Story+fan+review=new chapter **

**Seriously, that's the formula and everything. I learned it today in Math. **

**I really need to tell you something! But I can't remember what it is! UGHHGGHUGHGHGHGH! **

**Really though, dudes and dudettes. **

**R-E-V-I-E-W! **

**Just one word guys, and I'll be so happy I'll write like the energizer bunny on drugs. **


	4. Apology 2

**Sorry this is not a chapter. I have had the Flu for the past week, and was not allowed out of my room for fear of contaminating my little sister. **

**Please go onto my profile and vote on my poll. In For Eternity, do you want to meet Emmett in Tennessee, or Jasper in a diner? The one with the most votes wins, and the other will come into the story when they go to Forks. Also, leave a PM or review telling me which story you would like updated the fastest. I can only have one poll up at a time. I love all my stories, but don't have the time to update four times week usually, so I need to know. Whichever y'all like the most, will be updated most frequently. AAAAANNNNNNDDDDD, in oneshot, would you like Edward to teach Music, Art, or Science? I again apologize for this not being a chapter. **

**Thanks for everything guys. **

_**~Hayley Alexandra **_

**REVIEW!!!**

**(And/or PM)**

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	5. Alerting the Media

**HEY! Sorry again for not updating, but the Flu is what it is. Here is the next chappie of Till' Death do they part, and it is being updated since ONE person reviewed and told me that they wanted this one. If you don't like that, then sorry, cuz' its your own fault for not REVIEWING or PMING me. **

**Chapter Four: Alerting the Media **

**JPOV **

Mike had come over as soon as I called him. He had looked really happy when he walked in. Honestly, I felt kinda bad for bursting his bubble, but it had to be done to get him back on board. Right now he was continuously cursing God for creating an Edward. It was really pissing me off.

"Mike! Chill for a second! I need to think of how we can get them out of doing this!" I hollered in his ear.

He jumped ten feet off the bed and fell onto the floor, but stayed quiet like I asked.

"_Finally,_" I muttered. "Thanks."

"Anytime." He spat back.

Great. The love-sick puppy was getting bitter. If I didn't have him to hold up Bella's end, once I broke them everything would fall apart! Edward is clearly a sucker for a sob story, just look at what happened when him and the rest of the Cullen's came back from L.A. One look into her eyes and he was wrapped around her little finger. If he saw her cry, all would be lost. They would get back together and Mike and I would be left in the dust.

Maybe I could spread that she was a witch? My prep-class teacher told us how people had pinned Annie Bolleryn**(Anne Boleyn in "Jessica-speak")** as one when her husband executed her to be with another woman. That Indian guy called my Edward a vampire, so maybe she could be mythical, too? What with her mystical, _'come hither' _eye-fucks.

As I was lost in yet another fantasy of King Edward and me, I vaguely heard someone calling my name. The voice was a little deep, but velvetly. It sounded just like. . . Edward! Was it my beloved Edward, coming to save us all from the horrible dragon Mike and the witch Isabella?!

"JESS! WAKE UP WHY DON'T YA!"

I opened my eyes to find myself once again on the ground. Someone was hovering over me, but it tragically was not my Edward. It was Mike.

He hovered with a concerned look on his face, but once he saw my open eyes, he jumped up and onto my bed with a digusted look etched on his features.

Did I just call his voice velvet?

Someone slapped the top of my head, softly, but still hard enough to get my attention.

"What!" I spat.

"I said," Mike began. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, fine." I mumbled.

"Well, do you have any ideas?" He pressed.

"For what?"

"The plan to break them up, duh. I swear, Jess. . . Its like you went and visited another world or something." His fingers came up to pat his carefully gelled spikes.

Another world indeed. . . He had no idea.

"Ummmmm," I thought on my feet. "Yeah! Oh yeah! We need to. . . tooooooo. . .Have a meeting!" I finished proudly.

"A meeting," he asked me in a flat voice. "For what?"

"To tell everyone, of course!"

I hopped off my bed and grabbed the fuzzy, hot pink address book Lauren had given me for my sweet sixteen. Everyone who was everyone was listed in there. Names, adresses, phone numbers, e-mail if they had a library card to access a computer with, everything. Then, in the way back were the people who didn't really matter in order of if I liked them or not. Yorkie, Webber, Cheney. . . Swan was at the back in dead last. Her page had been there since two weeks after I met her.

Mike suggested we meet at the picnic tables behind our alma mater, and after agreeing on tomorrow, I thumbed through everyone who would matter, calling and telling them the date and place. The only one who couldn't come was Angela, for she was going shopping in Seattle tomorrow.

Picking up a wedding gift.

I made sure to tell her that I wanted a toaster-oven, and once questioning was over, hung up and adressed my cohort.

"We meet at 3:00."

MPOV

The love of my twenties was getting married, and curse it all if there was nothing I could do about it.

Jessica was insane, calling everyone for a meeting to tell them that _he_ was marrying her. This was Forks, we didn't need a meeting for everyone in town to know by tomorrow. But we absolutely had to do something.

I drove my beat-up old car back home, wishing that I was the owner of that stupid shiny Volvo. Thanks for moving me to a small town, Mom and Dad. I just love being poor and losing my girl to someone with a steady family income.

My parents were out at who cares where, and had apparently taken Grandma with them. If I had a girlfriend, this would be a perfect oppurtunity, but alas.

This Prince did not.

The note on the fridge told me to go to Thriftway and pick up some groceries. 'Use your paycheck to help your family.'

My mom was on some kind of self-help kick. _Helping others helps you _and all that crap. I was verbally cursing Bob Proctor now.

The only thing remotely related to a grocery store here was sitting in front of me. Thriftway was small, probably an old gas station, and had definitly seen better days. I could remember from my years in Cali grocery stores bigger than my old high school. The only car in the parking lot was a black Mercedes.

A ding alerted the one cashier to my arrival. She looked up, fiddling with the ring in her tongue, and nodded her head in sort of a _'sup'_ gesture. I nodded back, picked up a basket, and looked down to mom's list.

_Chips_

_Oranges_

_Tampons_

_Advil_

_Chex Mix_

_Hershey Bars_

_People! Magazine(August Issue)_

_Milk_

Fairly easy, but I did not, repeat NOT, want to buy my mother's tampons.

My side vibrated. I pulled my go-phone out of my pocket. The screen read one new text.

_I like Tampax Extra Long _

Gross.

_~~&~~_

I found everything mom needed. The only thing left on the list was the tampons. I sucked in a deep breath.

Here we go.

I did not know for sure, but my guess was that the tampons would be on the hygiene aisle with the toothpastes and shampoos. It wasn't all that was there.

I rounded the corner to voices, whose I had no idea, they were muffled until I came close enough.

"But why does it matter?" A male's voice asked.

"_Be-cause," _A female's protested. "It matters which one you think tastes better, you're the one kissing me."

I decided to ignore the lovely couple, not caring to watch their foreplay. But there were _so many. _Tampax, Always, Tampax Pearl, Kotex, Soft, Large, Pads, Tampons, Night Pads, small, thin, ultra-ubsorbent. How did girls ever _choose?! _This was worse than buying condoms!

I finally found what my mother was looking for, heaven forbid I think about why she needed such big ones, and grabbed it quickly, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. That is until a giggle stopped me. A giggle that I was so ultimately familiar with. One I only ever heard in the presence of certain other people. _Her _giggle.

I spun around quickly, accidentally dropping my crap all over the aisle. The milk jug busted open, squirting me directly over my goods. Oranges rolled to touch the tips of their shoes, the magazine was probably plastered together, and the medicine rattled in its bottle. But that wasn't why I was so freaked.

Bella and Edward stood in front of me.

Them. _Together. _Casually touching as if they were already married. _He _stood behind her, arms wrapped around her waist and chin resting on the top of her head. Her hands gripped his forearms, and I could clearly see the gaudy ring he had bought her. Gold, with a thin band and row after row of diamonds. I could have done so much better. I know what she likes.

"Mike?" She asked.

"H-hey, Bella." I stuttered, wrapping my hand around the back of my neck nervously. "I haven't seen you since the party."

"Yeah," she laughed. "I've been a little busy." She looked up at Edward, smiling so sexily I was afraid I was gonna cream my pants right here. He looked down at her adoringly. It made my stomach churn.

I realized that it was now or never. I probably wouldn't get another chance as good as this. So she breaks up with him in Thriftway, at least we'll be together!

"Bella. How are you?" I stepped forward and pulled her to me, trying to hug her.

She didn't get a chance to hug me back though. The beast pulled her back into his arms. Her face showed relief, but it was so obviously fake. She always was the best liar.

"Let it go, Newton." Edward snarled.

Bella spun around in his arms and touched his chest lightly. Was she going to scream at him for removing her from my embrace!? Defend my honor, even if that was mortally embarrassing!

But she just looked at him, standing there with her hand laying on his chest. The fiery anger in his freakish yellow eyes seemed to evaporate, replaced by God knows what. Something soft, love, did he love her? Really love her like I did?

It seemed to good to be true.

He let go of her softly and grabbed my abandoned basket. Walking around quickly, he cleaned up the mess I had made and handed it all back.

They both just radiated happiness with their tender smiles and not-so-secret looks. All the sweetness was making me sick to my stomach.

Bella smiled tightly at me and walked with her basket to the next aisle over. Edward watched her go and turned to me.

"Is there something you need to say, Newton? We have to meet with Alice in twenty minutes to go over wedding details.

Is there something I need to say!? DUH! Of course! I cannot just let you take my girl out from under my nose and off the market like that! Its borderline sexual harassment.

"Hell yeah there's something I need to say!" I squared my shoulders and turned to face him, but a small gust of wind knocked me in the fast. When I opened my eyes again, Edward was gone.

Jessica was absolutely, positively, one-hundred percent right.

We must stop this.

**A.N. Sorry to cut it off there, but I have to pee. Next chapter should be up Sunday or Monday. Let's pray I don't get grounded. **

**REVIEW! PLEASE! **

**Always remember-**

**This is the formula: Story plus reader times review equals new chapter. I learned it in Math. **

**Its all a circle. * grins * **


	6. VDay AN

**Hey ya'll, its me again. I know you probably really don't wanna hear _this_ right now, but here goes: **

**Till' Death Do They Part is officially on hiatus as of now. No updates will come of this story until For Eternity is finished and the newly renovated Lives of The Rich and Famous is underway. I'm sorry, but life is too busy right now for me to juggle four stories. **

**I hope you don't abandon me, because really, this is for your own good. Now you don't have to stalk your emails waiting for an update, even though I'm not a good enough writer to assume you do that for me. **

**Talk to you guys soon, **

**Alexandra ; D **


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